burning at the centre of time

In real life/fandom life:
- I need to do some RPing once I get back to the UK (next few days) and get post-jetlag and back into the work week, but I'm feeling a little meh about it right now. Make me un-meh?

- I've have realised just how much my migraines may be stress-related--I've had to take painkillers maybe twice since going on vacation. Unfortunately, having an anxiety disorder does not make for not having a stressful life. damn.

- I'm trying to finish Flora Segunda before I leave town tomorrow (library book) but I'm having limited luck. I know if I just buckle down it'll be fine, but still. so unmotivated.

- Oh my god why can the UK not have libraries like the MCFLS?

- Seche Vite without a basecoat chips like a mofo. Does anyone have any advice? I was so chuffed to score some here because it costs close to ten quid in Britain (also got the two Hunger Games CG polishes on clearance at Ulta for $4.99 each whut).

In current events:
- The Tony Scott story has made me really sad today, and if reports of his condition are true, it hits a little too close to home. Not sure why it's made me so mopey, but still.

- I don't feel compelled to comment much on Akin because I am pretty sure we are all, regardless of political affiliation, in accord (and if we are not, then what are you doing here): what the fuck.

- I do feel compelled as a Wisconsinite to inform you that Paul Ryan is even more of a douchebag than you already think he is. No, seriously. (If you are a moderate Republican, I would ask you to reconsider your vote.) I've lived in MA under Romney and WI while Ryan's been in office, and neither of them have done anything stellar, but Ryan has been an embarrassment to the state.

And finally:
- okay I love this Kate Spencer icon I made ngl even if it doesn't match my mood. KATE SPENCER ON ARROW means I might even watch it. Cheers to carthaginians and bossymarmalade for the info. Also (and Mags is gonna kill me for saying this) Stephen Amell is a little bit eyecandy, though he doesn't look much like even New52 Ollie Queen to me.

In a bit of an odd mood for various reasons, but the weather is nice, which is something. In-laws were good. Got a dress for The Bro's wedding, and shoes, neither of which compromise my sense of self...this is easier said than done in the current British fashion climate, where half of everything even vaguely feminine has got rhinestones or sequins or beads or is ( tmi? )

- I need to do some RP plotting at some point.

- G+, how do I quit you? You are cleverly made (Tumblr with less weens) but so problematic, and you're reminding me of the reason I never switched to Chrome years ago--e.g. Google policies are sketchy.

I typoed that as 'Google polices'. That too.

- Watched Leverage's The Van Gogh Job with Matt and I can't decide if it was terribly sweet or rather messed up in its simplistic examination of racial issues in 1940s Oregon. I don't really have much to say about it other than that. I also wasn't sure about the ( sorta spoiler. )

- I am reading Transmetropolitan and it is all right, a clever indictment of the wtfery that is the media. Funny how things are pretty well unchanged in fifteen years, in the sense of what needs criticism and what doesn't, but it's a pity Ellis didn't anticipate streaming video.

Some points...
While having work has made me feel better with regards to self-esteem, it's also been wicked busy and stressful lately, and I keep worrying that I'm not making the grade due to one of the bosses (not my direct one, but another of the team) being a hardass. So, the following...
THIS IS WHY YOU'RE GREAT!
my thread

Secondly, how_low_am_i is moving to the Pioneer Valley. Anyone who can provide leads with regards to gaming and contra dancing and geekiness, please do?

Thirdly, if you don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook or might have missed it...
WHO HAS PASSED HIR DISSERTATION AND NOW IS GETTING AN MA WITH MERIT? ME.

Must remember to buy the new Stevie album as it is now getting reviewed in UK mags and I had forgotten it came out. May have a look in Fopp tomorrow.

For starters, anyone who was fond of early Merlin or is currently fond of Merlin, or hell, likes Janelle Monáe, I'd love more feedback on Cold War.

Secondly, a combination of RP, the title of next week's Doctor Who, watching some Three and Five serials, and this video (music NSFW) wherein Old Skool Doctor Shoots Things...makes me really want to write meta about how the Doctor is not really a good person and that is okay. He wants to be a good person. But he's not.

Sadly, this is something that New Who has often glossed over, and a fallacy into which I have fallen myself.

Point the third: work is going okay. It's stuff I'm capable of doing and the people are nice, I just need to adjust to the energy drain that comes from an 8.5 hour day.

( four, not about Doctor Who but about fandom...vaguely squeeharshing. )

Five: Anyone who follows Homestuck will know why I am using this (Dreamwidth) icon. sigh.

- I need to figure out my response to WisCon's official EMoon bigot debacle response. Sadly, RL is getting in the way.

- Today I have to go do MORE banking business (e.g. Go To The Motherfucking Bank Like An Adult). Attempted bank transfer from the US failed, and there is no good reason why it would have failed, and my US bank says it's a problem on the UK (Barclays) end, and Barclays says there is nothing wrong. Yeah.

- But then I get to do some networking with a friend of ladyvivien's, and I may get to visit Film City Glasgow, which is the fancy media quarter in Govan. Win.

- Also, very tempted by Festivids, as that will be a post-Overambitious Dissertation work and will keep me in the editing frame of mind.

- A snippet from the Ariadne gen fic, behind the cut. I get the feeling my take on her is vastly different than the rest of Inception fandom's. So be it.

( while it’s lonely, it’s a relief to not be immersed in them anymore... )

There should be a trivia/pub quiz/Jeopardy category that is solely 'Obscure Lindsey Buckingham Bootlegs', because I would pwn. It's been nine years since I first picked up this track. I have it phonetically memorised, most likely. I've heard it maybe a hundred times. And I still have no idea what he's singing half the time.
However, that's okay! It probably has something to do with:
a. cycles
b. reclaiming a positive identity
c. how LA is evil
d. Wheat Thins
And the worst part is that we will NEVER KNOW.*

Continuing with the Overambitious Dissertation, I've now written about six pages of screenplay, most of it dialogue that will probably be cut and thrown into the defence paper. I'm probably going to start editing tomorrow, or at the very least, logging my head off. God, logging is a chore.

If I made a Hunger Games mix for the first two novels but not Mockingjay, would anyone listen to it? Matt, being so damn sweet, bought it for me but I've got about four things to read before then. I...uh...might have made the mix about three months ago and not made art for it, then forgot about it in wedding hassle.

* I just realised that this will only be funny to hardcore Fleetwood Mac fans. Sorry.

A few random thoughts that I need to have more energy to write about. Tomorrow.

- Yes, the previous post on vidding was frustrated hyperbole. I do feel like vidding is an exclusive community, though, if a welcoming one in some cases.

- I think I need to talk about warnings again. I'm a user of warnings...and I write extensive author's notes because I am a bit like that. However, as someone with OCD, my triggers are so fucking weird and random that I can see how it's impossible to warn for them...COMPLICATED. That does not mean other people should not warn, mind.

- And you shouldn't keep from warning because of Your Art. This post by thingswithwings makes me want to write about that.

- I did take the warning label off Iowa Stubborn because 'Author Chooses Not To Warn' is NOT accurate for me, but anything I might warn about is not covered by the AO3 code. I wasn't aware some people automatically read that as 'Author Is An Inconsiderate Wankbucket', which is not how I roll.

- There needs to be another option on AO3, like 'No Warnings Apply' and 'No AO3 Warnings Apply', because I do see a distinction. Sigh.

- It's Independence Day, which is ever so fun for someone who no longer believes in Dictionary Definition patriotism, per se, with regards to any nation. I am now going to try to figure out how to say this without the hegemony that it implies.

Anyway, my country, you are borked and twisted and fucked up. Hell, even the holiday itself is fucked up, because the Declaration of Independence was bullshit for most people, and it also wasn't the beginning of the war. (As I've said plenty of times, American Studies is the major for emotional masochists.) But at the same time, I feel a certain amount of claim and maybe a bit of pride, sort of. We fuck up so badly, so often, and we have a superiority complex that needs to be kicked firmly in the metaphorical balls. But there are unique cultures, POVs, and ideas here, and those are what I believe in with regards to the US.

So yeah. I don't know. I can't quantify it; cognitive dissonance, perhaps. And perhaps I am wrong. As Jackson Browne puts it:

I have prayed for America
I was made for America
I can't let go till she comes around
Until the land of the free
Is awake and can see
Until her conscience has been found

Though I mean it in more senses of kyriarchy smackdown than Browne did, I think that sums up my POV pretty well.

Says she who is bunking off to Britain in a matter of weeks.