Genderqueer FONSFAQ, 3W4DW: What's the difference?

[rhivolution]

From pipisafoat's Genderqueer FONSFAQ, zvi asked:
What is the difference between being genderqueer and having an unusual but still binary gender presentation? Am I correct in thinking that being transgendered does not necessarily make one genderqueer?

Before I start, viklikesfic addressed a lot of this in hir response to this question here, as noted on the FONSFAQ post!

My answer: being transgender does not necessarily mean one is genderqueer, no. That's the easy part of this question! Transgender people come in a wide variety of genders, both binary and non-binary.

Thing is, this question and the first point sort of bring up the issue of 'are genderqueer people transgender', which is really complex and a divisive issue within the community.

For a start, some people want there to be a divide between being cisgendered and cissexual, and some people don't, as that implies that one's body parts and cell structure are very specifically and irrevokably gendered as male or female, rather than being parts that are gendered depending on the person who has them. And there are binary people, both cis and trans, who feel that non-binary gender people who don't transition in any way or who don't have dysphoria shouldn't fall under the trans umbrella.

Now, not everyone's experiences are equal, and there are people with more or less privilege of various types. I wouldn't presume to understand the POV of a binary trans woman and the very serious issues that arise due to societies having bigotry towards that identity.

But at the same time, there are issues and problems politically related to that which arise due to my own gender identity (ask me about British women-IDed people's office wear). Are those connected to the issues faced by, say, a butch woman? Absolutely. But my refusal to meet normative gender standards differs from that because of my desire for radical change, to be seen outside where I was assigned in the binary system. A butch woman still wants to be seen as a woman, what she was assigned.

Which gets us back to the first point: I've identified as genderqueer since I was about nineteen or so, and I have to say that for me, at least, it was something I knew in my gut. It's...I've always had a very real inherent reluctance to classify myself as woman or as man, because neither of them feel accurate. Some days I have masculine moments, some days I have feminine ones, most of the time I feel neither but not nothing. Even if I'm okay with my female-assigned-at-birth parts, much of the time.

It's a hard thing to explain, because it's in my mind, my identity, but basically, the spectrum doesn't have a place for me.

Now this is only really dealing with my personal gender identity. It's not an exclusive look into the genderqueer mind, or the non-binary mind (they are different!), but I hope it helps somewhat with parsing things out.

Comments, questions, criticism--all welcome.

Comments

[littlebutfierce]

But my refusal to meet normative gender standards differs from that because of my desire for radical change, to be seen outside where I was assigned in the binary system. A butch woman still wants to be seen as a woman, what she was assigned.

Yeah, this. And also the fact that I can fucking be genderqueer wearing a ruffled skirt even though people would see me & think "female." I am so annoyed by the whole "you can only be genderqueer if you look 'androgynous' [for some narrow definition of the term]!" thing. Clothes don't have inherent gender & genderqueerness isn't just about presentation (I mean, shit, think of people who, for safety reasons, can't present, genderwise, the way they want--a problem not limited to genderqueer people obvs).

[kaz]

THANK YOU! Because honestly I saw that question and went "...I guess I'm not genderqueer anymore, then" because I *do* present binarily and according to my assigned gender? For a multitude of reasons including but not limited to not being out, knowing it is pretty much impossible to present as my actual gender because most people don't realise it exists and will therefore never read me that way no matter what I do, and the fact that when it comes to the "M vs F" boxes I *strongly* prefer people to read me as the one I was assigned. When it comes to presentation, in an ideal world I'd like to have some sort of mixture of feminine and aesthetically-associated-with-neutrois presentation, but masculinity can bite me. In this world, the most I can manage is "not masculine". Which apparently makes me a woman. Or something.

[rhivolution]

I agree, yes yes yes. Thanks for reading!

[kaz]

I like this response. :) And seconding the love for "a butch woman still wants to be seen as a woman".

[rhivolution]

Thank you! I'm really glad that it works for you, so glad.

[bibliofile]

Your explanation reads very clearly to me. You just showed how multiple threads of discussion come together under the topic "genderqueer," with multiple options available on pretty much all fronts. No, it's not simple, though people usually start out with a simplistic view first.

"...most of the time I feel neither but not nothing." Yes, this makes not only perfect sense in this matter, but I think you just summarized a big problem with any binaries applied to human beings.
(My own personal opinion: dichotomies can go fuck themselves, as they are silly constructs and not of the real world. Start there if you must, but please move along instantly.)

[rhivolution]

Good, I'm glad it's quite clear! Thank you for reading.

(Neither but not nothing, of course, doesn't apply to people who are neutrois.)