rhivolution | (no subject)

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Crossposts: http://rhipowered.livejournal.com/905026.html

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real lifez

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Hello, just a post to say I am still here, I am just sucking really hard at reading my flist/circle! (which in my brain extends to 'bad friend'...so I apologise.)

And at posting, obviously, ugh ugh ugh. I have a lot of things to say but don't know how to say them, it seems. I keep thinking I should have a private Twitter account, but then I remember I have this, and why the hell am I not using it augh brainweasels

Hello. How are you? Seriously, I want to know.

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Hey, at least you're still alive and stuff.

Me, I'm doing better the last couple of days, but the previous week sucked big time. OTOH, I know people recently having much more severe problems (with much pain, requiring hospitalization and surgery) so y'know, it could be worse.

Stupid brainweasels.

Brain Weasels! Terrible!

Only way I can post is to concentrate on just today's. I prevent myself thinking of "will I be able to follow up." Simplifies it a little bit.

Mostly OK, for me. Not feeling as kvellong with gratitude as formerly.

*affectionate shoulder nudge* Hey friend. :)

I'm struggling with the winter and the lack of light, and my perpetual decision to go to sleep late as though I won't have to get up early. /o\ But once I properly wake up I usually feel better! Job's good, and I'm looking forward to Christmas.

Don't worry! RL happens. Distraction happens. It's good to see you, though!

Okay here. A few more rejections for job things because that's basically my eternal fate, a constant lack of money that remains a bit stressful, but mostly just finishing Thesis v2.0 as fast as I can. The weather is nice, all crisp and autumny. Today is the housemate's kidlet's 2nd birthday so they have taken him on a steam train, and it means the house is quiet and I can get some work done. So not much has changed, really.

They run in packs, the brainweasels. I sorta picture them doing a stampede.

Sorry to hear things were ugh ugh ugh, and I hear you.

That's a good way to think of it, thanks, Jesse. I will try to remember that. Glad you are okay.

Too much gratitude can be hard to navigate, imo, coming from a culture where people are rather reserved about the good things they do (I'm reminded of Dessa's words in 'Fighting Fish', though Wisconsin's a bit less so than MN) and so are uncomfortable receiving gratitude.

Yes, exactly on the light front! It gets dark here so very quickly, it feels like it's shifted so very soon.

I also do the late night thing, always have and always will, even though I try not to!

Anxiety happens oh god brainweasel stampede!

I'm sorry to hear about the job/money thing, seems to be the lot of both academia and this country at the moment (and I know when I was looking for work several years ago, it felt like no one wanted to hire non-citizens for anything).

Also, that is an excellent birthday idea for a kidlet. My wee nephew is one soon, which is a bit scary as the year has gone so fast.

I'm all right. Whittling the inbox, listening to Gimlet's Startup podcast, eating a lot of lentils, enjoying the autumn here in New York City, listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, planning stuff.

Glad to hear it! That podcast sounds interesting, I may have to add it to my list of Podcasts For The Gym.

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