As far as I can tell, it's always hard, because we're living in a society that's soaked in normate bigotry. So even after this very thoughtful, educational, and brave post; after your introspection; after the hard work of identifying what you need to do to cope (like accepting a nap)*, we're still in a world that takes pains to remind us every day in every way that our lives just ain't right. That access is a zero-sum game, there's not enough to go around, and who the hell are we to demand room?

FFS, I've been using a big powerchair for 17 years, and I still struggle with the "am I disabled enough"?

*Not taking naps is a powerful signifier of "adult" in North America. When we're babies we love 'em, as we get walking we resist 'em, and when we hit 50 or so we embrace them again.