rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
Being super-cryptic about this, but lately on the interwebs with all of the fuckery going on both in the world and in community settings,* some people make me want to punch things. And I can't say anything to these people, e.g. PISS OFF, YOU DON'T HELP, because they are sort of Important and have cultural cachet and I may need to not have bad blood with them in future.

(I am, perhaps, too pragmatic about these things to be a real activist or interested in social justice, but I haven't ever claimed to be anything but a sell-out.)

We have been watching a lot of The A-Team lately, so basically my brain ends up wanting to non-lethally roll over cars and explode stuff on people, as well as quoting Hannibal and B.A., so.

Also, as usual, just reading about SDCC gives me anxiety. And then I get anxiety about not liking the idea of it and being a killjoy.

ANYWAY. In good things:
- I may need to post my Rule 63 in-period A-Team on Twitter because it's so necessary. The occasional thing like this is why I guess I need a Tumblr, but I cannae be bothered.
- I have yet to figure out why so many people follow me on Twitter in the first place. I suspect it's, as mentioned in previous post, because I'm a useful links aggregate and occasionally let out a bit of snark and that's it.
- I do quite enjoy a bit of my RPs right now.
- I actually finished reading a book! Which is good because my copy of Hild is in and I will pick it up and it will be lovely.
- I kinda want to reread Feed because it's the summer of 2014 and #wwyr is so wonderfully creepy.


* I have a lot to say about the Wiscon situation that I am not saying because it won't help anybody and also because I suspect no one cares what I think.
rhivolution: the Tenth Doctor, looking mightily pissed off (gonna cut you: the Tenth Doctor)
Just an FYI--I'm not reading much of LJ since they enforced the death of the friends page for me a few weeks back (despite saying they wouldn't, heyyyyy)--this new feed style is not good for my brain.

I have a cold. The world is fraying and everyone can see the seams. I keep nearly falling into the no, really, nobody cares what you think, you're useful primarily as an aggregator of other people's thoughts pit.

Then not wanting to say as much because it makes me sound needy and self-absorbed and there's far too much crap in the world for me to add to it.

Still grumpy. Still anxious. You've probably gathered all of that if you follow me on Twitter.

Still self-censoring.
rhivolution: Yves Adele Harlow from The Lone Gunmen, smiling. Text: 'YVES' (always on the run: Yves Adele Harlow)
Just as an FYI: Matt and I have safely returned to Glasgow along with all baggage (though slightly smushed but still edible boxes of US foodstuffs*) and raging cases of jetlag.

I have lots of thoughts about WisCon and stuff that's recently come out, which I will address later. Also, I'm really sad I missed the GOH speeches on Sunday--I've read them and they are both epic in different ways, both thoughts we should take to heart, and...I'm shitty at words right now. I did get to briefly meet and fangeek a little awkwardly at NK Jemisin.

I am sad about the death of Dr. Maya Angelou and irritated at the respectability politics that she's being used for already.

I am also angry, as those who follow me on Twitter know, about what went down in California and cannot really put thoughts together right now.

I am trying to read four or five books at once which is probably ill-advised.

I am really damn happy for [livejournal.com profile] lizzybees and S omg.

TO WORK TOMORROW, MY X-MEN.

* Realised I forgot to put this in the post: Cheezits, Cheetos, Quaker Oatmeal Squares, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, and other bits and pieces.
rhivolution: Janelle Monáe is giving you a low look (fuck gender: Janelle Monáe)
Hi kids--I've put together an informal Wiscon schedule yay! Suggestions welcome.

With regards to contact: I only have my UK phone so texts are kinda expensive to do/receive, but I have inexpensive data available so WhatsApp, if you have it, is totally cool, or email/Twitter will also be checked regularly.

I will be in Madison from early tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon, but I'm going to be doing some hanging out with high school/Smith friends for early afternoon and dinner. However, if you've got time in the mid-afternoon we could get a coffee or something--Matt and I have to come back into the center of town to check in to our hotel. [personal profile] regcommathe, I have something for you...not sure if that works? If not, maybe Saturday morning?

On Friday, I'm planning to be up and about around 10:30/11:00. (Matt has made plans for shopping and possibly heading to the cinema, for those worried about his entertainment.)

1:00 pm: Having a nosy at The Gathering and the dealer room because I need to buy Ancillary Justice and maybe try for other works (Half World? Redwood and Wildfire and most of the Aqueduct back catalogue?).

2:30 pm: choice of several items omg tell me where I should be--sorry [personal profile] wrdnrd, I haven't read Goto so not sure I'd be able to follow the conversation, woe.
- Feminist Utopias (a personal fav topic)
- Women of Doctor Who (because I can bring the RAGEFACE)
- Disability on TV (some of you are on this! unfortunately I haven't seen much telly of late)

4:00 pm: Another Radical Queer Politics Panel
Possibly Diversity in Comics if the latter looks too crowded or other people say things?

BREAK WHO WANTS FOOD AND HANGING OUTS AND IMPROMPTU GENDERQUEER PANEL

9:00 pm: Reconciliation Within SFF

BREAK AND HANGING OUTS MAYBE PARTIES - I'm thinking I'm supporting Helsinki 2017 as LonCon isn't gonna be doable this year, so I'd like to have a nosy at them.

12:00 am: Sekrit Fanfic Identities, if I can stay up that long--jet lag has got me on 'up by 9, dozy by 12 am' and I don't want Matt to worry.

I may be able to do a coffee Saturday morning before 11/12 or so, if we don't have a chance to catch up otherwise.
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
This post sort of starts in medias res because I can't figure out how to start it otherwise: I managed to be a responsible adult last week in epic ways, before starting to come down with a cold the day after. It whinged for a while as my body threw things at it, but then I ended up so poorly early this week I had to take a sick day for the first time in two years. (Oddly enough, I was also sick, though with GI issues, in early April 2012...idek.)

So this week has pretty much been a wash. Shit has not got done outwith work. And here we are in April and Easter is next week and the US in a month or so and I am thirty... cue existential crisis

A few things I know for sure, though.

I've not seen Winter Soldier so I feel a bit left out, but carry on squeefully!

I will be at Wiscon on the Friday so make your plans accordingly? (insert Sally Field moment here with not understanding why people like me so damn much.*) I need to vid for this omg, but my idea involves going through a ton of canon which is causing much anxiety.

In a similar vein, I finally am reading through the copy of the Year's Best SF that I picked up before going to Birmingham (2009, so this'd be YBSF 2008?) and now I remember why I stopped reading SF indiscriminately. Not just because of the obvious fail, but also the more insidious things...for example, I feel like I want someone to talk with about Ian McDonald and why his work creeps me out so much. Also, it's helped me realise that I made the right choice in not touching Bacigalupi's work. (Conceptually the protagonist's work and workplace in that story is a fantastic concept that rings stunningly true to today's social media and pageclick driven journalism. But that's negated and buried under the amount of sideeye I have to do because it's just...)

so many white dudes in this omg thank fuck there's at least an Aliette de Bodard story near the end and I think Nancy Kress is in it somewhere

This is part of my project to read more, and while it's not failing, I need to push myself a little harder, I think. Or track what I read over lunch better, because I don't tweet about what I don't find amazing.

I...have run out of steam thanks to exhaustion. Ask me things, instead, maybe?


* To deconstruct this, I think this is a combination of imposter syndrome and the fact that at school/work (e.g. social situations where the group is not self-selected) I have always been deemed 'pleasantly quirky' at best and 'wtf' at worst. Therefore I believe the negatives because I am a goddamn cynic.
rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
- HOLY SHIT THE NEW NIGHT VALE I CANNOT EVEN, WEEPING INTO MY METAPHORICAL CEREAL. spoilers. )

Additionally: I want all kinds of fic about Tamika Flynn, and; this episode should come with a trigger warning on it as there's some stuff at the end that could be an issue. Unfortunately saying what the trigger is gives the whole damn thing away, so...if you think you might have an issue, click through to my spoilers to get the jist.

- We saw The Lego Movie and it is highly worth seeing. Not without problematic bits, but overall enjoyable and much more clever than anyone would have anticipated from the trailers or the concept (so glad films can still surprise me like that). Also lots of very amusing stuff if you're into DC Comics...ahem.

- Matt and I have booked a place to stay in Madison for the Thursday and Friday nights of Wiscon, so. That is happening. We'll likely be doing some visiting on Thursday in the Madison area but con stuff Friday? If I can figure something out for Matt to do?

- Work stuff omg (business business numbers). Follow me on my IRL Twitter for ADVENTURES, that's all I'm gonna say.

- Am I the only one not getting notifs for the first comments people leave on a Dreamwidth post? This is getting old.
rhivolution: band tour shirt showing Captain Picard with a guitar. Text is 'Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra September 1991' (language geek: TANAGRA '91!)
How fantastic was today's Night Vale? THIS MUCH. (There will be something big soon, I am certain of it. Also much jealous for you people who have gone to the live shows or are there now because you're in Noho.)

How excited am I about Wiscon but terrified I won't get a membership as I need to book plane tickets first? THIS MUCH.

How busy has this week been from a work perspective? THIS MUCH.

How much am I not talking any more about Loncon or about the recent sideeye towards FAAB people in queer gaming because I have said everything I wanted to say on Twitter? THIS MUCH.

How much does this poem by [livejournal.com profile] alankria reflect my own feelings about my gender?
I struggled with words:
woman—fine
wife—fine
mother—fine
but not quite true;
they sat on me like plain jewellery: gleaming, comfortable
but mute.

THIS MUCH. (So much love.)
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Let's not talk about how I'm posting this Festivid five months after the original reveal and two weeks after it played at [community profile] wiscon_vidparty (thanks to [personal profile] chaila, okay? Okay.

Title: Fire and Water
Vidder: Rhi ([personal profile] rhivolution/[livejournal.com profile] rhipowered)
Fandom: Pumzi (2009)
Music: Aṣa, "Fire on the Mountain"
Warnings: minor incident of police brutality
Length: 2:50
Summary: One day the river will overflow (and there'll be nowhere for us to go).
Notes: Made in Final Cut Essentials with the help of VisualHub, for [personal profile] livrelibre in Festivids 2012. Many thanks to her for providing source material, as it's not available here in the UK for reasons only Focus Features know.
source details, download, streaming embed, and lyrics. )
rhivolution: Gwen and Morgana from BBC Merlin, giving each other a sidelong look (grace to the strong: Gwen/Morgana)
If you are one of those fortunate and lucky souls, might I encourage you to drop in at [community profile] wiscon_vidparty?

There are many awesome vids, it is coordinated by awesome people, and while I am not there, I am premièring my Merlin vid at it. Otherwise you will have to watch it streaming from Vimeo like all of the rest of us.

So yes. You should go to there if you get a chance. I also suggest going by the Carl Brandon Society party and the Think Galactic party where the awesome Andrea Hairston will also be located.
rhivolution: Karen Gillian dressed as Amy Pond faces off against a TV camera (me versus the camera: Karen Gillan)
Seeing as I'm still jobless, I have time to actually do a bespoke vid for WisCon so that some little bit of me will be there. BUT I CANNOT CHOOSE.

So, precogs breaking my heart, aka I deconstruct Spielberg? Or Morgana and Gwen raging against the Uther machine?

Or am I completely off base entirely?

Poll #6401 WisCon Vid Party!
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8


I'd rather see this vid made:

View Answers

Minority Report (2002) - John Anderton and Agatha - John Stewart, Strange Rivers
3 (37.5%)

Merlin S1&2 - Morgana and Gwen - Janelle Monáe, Cold War
7 (87.5%)

I have a different suggestion.
0 (0.0%)

I'd like to see something different:

I have other comments:

rhivolution: Matthew Macfadyen is pensive, text: jeux sans frontieres (games without frontiers: Tom Quinn)
I remain angry on the WisCon topic and I am not sure how to channel this anger into something productive that will be beneficial instead of just me me me me me. Working on it.

The post on UK psychiatry is still in the works, I promise. This week's just become intensely hairy thanks to the job application and the OAD wrapup. Speaking of, that's going into a finalish edit tomorrow, I think. I've come to the mindset that it will not be perfect ever, and therefore the Smith College axiom applies: Done Is Better Than Good.

I have also learned that I should never be a television presenter because I can't memorize lines for love or money, and thus my closing sequence is a bit pish.

And tomorrow I need to vote, and see about when would be best to get down to Birmingham, and figure out where to start with my defence essay, and learn to spell defense as defence...yeah.
rhivolution: text only: "I hate so much about the things that you choose to be." (sheer disgust: TO (US) quote)
I don't know what to say about the WisCon PTB firmly deciding on the Elizabeth Moon thing.

I'm not particularly relieved, because honestly, I didn't think they'd get around to doing something. Or at the very least, I didn't think they'd get around to doing something without alienating people even MORE than had already happened. (As the child of an alcoholic, I am now and have always been a massive cynic. If I expect people to let me down, then I won't be as hurt when they do.)

There's still this massive fucking divide! How can we be okay when all this shit has gone down and people are hurting?

Please note that I'm not calling anyone out in particular. I'm just stunned at the amount of work that needs to be done, yet. This is not the fuck over.

(Also, it'll be interesting to see what will happen in mainstream SF in response to this. [sigh])

I again hat-tip [livejournal.com profile] nisi_la for her grace and forbearance, by the way. She deserves the GoH accolade.
rhivolution: text only: "I hate so much about the things that you choose to be." (sheer disgust: TO (US) quote)
Right, so, on the Elizabeth Moon WisCon issue. I suppose I will speak in bullet points, because I've had a long day and due to high school competitive civics, I now think that way 90% of the time. (e.g. concise and clear points with facts to back them up.)

Thanks, Mrs. Ratway. Thanks.

Carrying on, if you don't know what I'm talking about, consider ye [personal profile] deepad's post and link collection. I could go on for pages on why Moon's thinking is seriously fucked up on multiple levels (anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant, assimilationist dogshit), but I don't think that's really necessary unless you aren't convinced by real people's feelings and need a privileged person to provide historical evidence for the incorrect nature of her screed.

- Firstly: Nisi Shawl is also GoH at WisCon 35. I am not using this as something to push people towards going, it is just that Ms. Shawl's work is very good (yes, I have read some) and she does not deserve erasure when we're talking about another person erasing people. EMoon is not THE GoH, she is A GoH.

- I'm basically sitting here writing a post telling you that I don't think what happened was right, but I don't know if rescinding the invite would have done anything effectual either wrt the big picture of SFF as a whole, and that Cat Valente's slippery slope analogy, while problematic, applies on one level (though not to the extent she thinks, honestly).

- So basically I'm being a fence-sitter as usual. Fabulous.

- Thing is, I'm leaning towards disinvite, though, because having her at WisCon seriously hurts a lot of people and discomfits many others. And I do not want her to be there if that is the case, because that is like a turd in the damn punchbowl. And then next year people sit around and talk about going to parties, and they don't want to go to the party where there was previously turd punch, regardless of any steps to ensure punch clarity. It might take ages to restore party reputation, or some other party having worse punch in the meantime.

- That metaphor simile went on too long, sorry.

- Speculating, though, my guess is that the concom did do this for a single reason: PR. Moon's work does well in mainstream SF. Publicly alienating her could quite possibly lead to mainstream SF writing off WisCon as solely radical fringe instead of far-left. Which is bullshit. The productive things at WisCon need to hit mainstream SF, because it is so often a bigoted minefield. But we all know how well mainstream SF likes to listen to criticism and how slowly, even when there is willingness to change, things actually happen.

- So we're at a quandary. I mean, I would have preferred disinvitation, but even so, I can't help but wonder if there's some sort of middle-ground action that could have been taken at the very least, instead of this vague waving at constructive action. Censure? Is that possible? Not allowing her to do panels save a free-for-all where she'd be put under the microscope? Though that probably wouldn't do much good either.

Fuck, I don't know. The best thing would be if she didn't think like a fucking wankbucket in the first place.

(next up on this DW/LJ: Rhi's long tirade about how US jingoistic nationalism knows no political party and how she is tired of it.)
rhivolution: Matthew Macfadyen is pensive, text: jeux sans frontieres (games without frontiers: Tom Quinn)
A brief note first: in light of what shit just went down as regards the topic of unsafe, I'm...just gonna pass on making a whole other post. Should you want to know what I would have said, [personal profile] antarcticlust sums it up well in her first two paragraphs here. Namely, being uncomfortable is important, because it means for once we (we = me + other white people) aren't just coasting on by, letting privilege protect us.

I probably would have been a bit less kind, though. I'm an angry person.

Now, to the rest of the post...a few notes from the Mad Seers, Holy Fools, and God–Touched panel at WisCon 34.

Let me say first that this panel seriously touched me and made me think, probably so much so that I bloody neglected to take down who necessarily said what or may have gotten that wrong in my frantic writing. I apologise to [livejournal.com profile] onceupon, [personal profile] revena, [livejournal.com profile] upstart_crow, and [livejournal.com profile] suzych for that. If anyone could provide further info or better notes, I'd be much obliged. My unspoken notes are in italics.

snip. )
-----
All I can really say is my people. Seriously, the sense this whole damn thing made to this person with OCD...I just don't even. I have more to say about what I got out of this, but that may have to wait until tomorrow, as I am beat...yay for medication fatigue.

There may be a rant about how OCD isn't taken seriously. Stay tuned.

ETA: If you want to fill in the blanks and expand upon things that I didn't, check out [livejournal.com profile] sophy's panel report.