rhivolution: the Doctor, pointing at his shop name badge: The Doctor/here to help (Here to help: The Doctor)
Just a note to say hello, I am still here! Still trying to get my brain in order, though I have graduated from CBT (yay?). I'm also sort of trying to enjoy December, as last year I was sick as a dog for most of it.

To be honest, I'd probably be more likely to read my circle if DW had a mobile interface worth beans. I swore I'd never become one of Those People with Their Phones, but it seems to have happened, for which I sort of apologise but half-assedly.

I've managed to get back into knitting, which is exciting and good, especially as I seem to accumulate sock yarn faster than I actually make things. It feels good to make stuff and to finish stuff--even though 'finished' has always been an odd and underwhelming experience for me. Does anyone else have that problem? It may just be my brainweasels.
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
It's probably bad to have an existential crisis of the think I'll go eat worms variety at this time, as my usual coping mechanisms aren't really functioning well.

I shall, as ever, and as I told my psych this afternoon, fucking soldier on. But at some point I'd really rather not have to just do that.
rhivolution: Makka Pakka from In the Night Garden, text: Keep Calm And Wash Stuff (keep calm and wash stuff: OCD/Makka Pak)
I would appreciate a few days rest from the ongoing run of Lord of the Brainweasels, please. The increase in noise of the usual background hum of low-level anxiety is having a serious impact on my ability to make it through the day without Now Panic And Freak Out.

Thanks,
me
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
So I keep mulling over the idea that I should change my Tumblr or get a second one to talk about political stuff. Because it seems like that is where All The Discourse is happening in real time these days, and then I get lost and confused when people bring stuff up here or on Twitter.

Except when I think about it hard enough, I realise that that wouldn't be good for my brain.

Because, see, Tumblr for me works really well to post pictures of sexy people and cute animals and ridiculous stuff and the occasional thought too long for Twitter. But I find it really intensely difficult to follow all the intricacies of a complicated discussion on there. I need responses and discussion on one page or with a diagram with easy to follow hyperlinks like a branching tree. For me, the Tumblr method is great for clicking about, a la a bored day of Wikipedia surfing, but I can't read it for srs bsns unless I'm sticking to one person.

Otherwise I miss stuff that's really vitally important and don't have the spoons to go chasing it down. Hell, I neglect to answer LJ/DW comments and I get emails about those, ffs.

It's not Tumblr, it's me. My brain is borked. It's a self-realisation that is awkward as hell. And I'm angry at myself for not getting it because there is interesting shit going on that I'm missing.

More on the psychiatrist later.