rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
I'm in [personal profile] kaberett's love meme, should you be so inclined (planning to catch you lot after work).
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Hello! Thank you in advance for the wonderful vid--I never know what to say in these things, so go me. I'm really excited about the possibilities in all of the fandoms I picked, so I will be chuffed to bits regardless, but here are some guidelines and inspirations for you.

Overall:
- My musical taste is pretty much white suburban US baby boomer dad, with some meanderings into queer stuff, 'world music', and alternafolk, but don't let that stop you from going where you like. My last.fm profile is linked on my DW profile, should you want to have a nosy (though it's not super up-to-date as sometimes stuff doesn't scrobble from Spotify, augh).
- I like introspective character study type vids. While I'm not opposed to happiness, my general preference in fanworks is towards snarky social commentary, angst/UST, and gritty reality. You are more than welcome to make a statement, provided your politics aren't ugly. I'm one of Those People, so feminist, anti-racist, epic side-eye type vids are fantastic.

Details! Cut to spare people. )
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
It's probably bad to have an existential crisis of the think I'll go eat worms variety at this time, as my usual coping mechanisms aren't really functioning well.

I shall, as ever, and as I told my psych this afternoon, fucking soldier on. But at some point I'd really rather not have to just do that.
rhivolution: Hannelore from webcomic Questionable Content: shirt reads 'OCDelightful' (OCDelightful: Hannelore)
Finally had the first of my two sessions of CBT consult yesterday. Not sure if it will help me or what the outcome of the consult will be, but the clinical psych seems to be a respectful person, knowledgeable and empathetic about OCD, and I didn't have a hard time talking to her.

So that is a good thing, I think.

Doesn't do much for the Random Anxiety Flares in the meantime but I will, as ever, persevere.
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
Being super-cryptic about this, but lately on the interwebs with all of the fuckery going on both in the world and in community settings,* some people make me want to punch things. And I can't say anything to these people, e.g. PISS OFF, YOU DON'T HELP, because they are sort of Important and have cultural cachet and I may need to not have bad blood with them in future.

(I am, perhaps, too pragmatic about these things to be a real activist or interested in social justice, but I haven't ever claimed to be anything but a sell-out.)

We have been watching a lot of The A-Team lately, so basically my brain ends up wanting to non-lethally roll over cars and explode stuff on people, as well as quoting Hannibal and B.A., so.

Also, as usual, just reading about SDCC gives me anxiety. And then I get anxiety about not liking the idea of it and being a killjoy.

ANYWAY. In good things:
- I may need to post my Rule 63 in-period A-Team on Twitter because it's so necessary. The occasional thing like this is why I guess I need a Tumblr, but I cannae be bothered.
- I have yet to figure out why so many people follow me on Twitter in the first place. I suspect it's, as mentioned in previous post, because I'm a useful links aggregate and occasionally let out a bit of snark and that's it.
- I do quite enjoy a bit of my RPs right now.
- I actually finished reading a book! Which is good because my copy of Hild is in and I will pick it up and it will be lovely.
- I kinda want to reread Feed because it's the summer of 2014 and #wwyr is so wonderfully creepy.


* I have a lot to say about the Wiscon situation that I am not saying because it won't help anybody and also because I suspect no one cares what I think.
rhivolution: the Tenth Doctor, looking mightily pissed off (gonna cut you: the Tenth Doctor)
Just an FYI--I'm not reading much of LJ since they enforced the death of the friends page for me a few weeks back (despite saying they wouldn't, heyyyyy)--this new feed style is not good for my brain.

I have a cold. The world is fraying and everyone can see the seams. I keep nearly falling into the no, really, nobody cares what you think, you're useful primarily as an aggregator of other people's thoughts pit.

Then not wanting to say as much because it makes me sound needy and self-absorbed and there's far too much crap in the world for me to add to it.

Still grumpy. Still anxious. You've probably gathered all of that if you follow me on Twitter.

Still self-censoring.
rhivolution: Yves Adele Harlow from The Lone Gunmen, smiling. Text: 'YVES' (always on the run: Yves Adele Harlow)
Just as an FYI: Matt and I have safely returned to Glasgow along with all baggage (though slightly smushed but still edible boxes of US foodstuffs*) and raging cases of jetlag.

I have lots of thoughts about WisCon and stuff that's recently come out, which I will address later. Also, I'm really sad I missed the GOH speeches on Sunday--I've read them and they are both epic in different ways, both thoughts we should take to heart, and...I'm shitty at words right now. I did get to briefly meet and fangeek a little awkwardly at NK Jemisin.

I am sad about the death of Dr. Maya Angelou and irritated at the respectability politics that she's being used for already.

I am also angry, as those who follow me on Twitter know, about what went down in California and cannot really put thoughts together right now.

I am trying to read four or five books at once which is probably ill-advised.

I am really damn happy for [livejournal.com profile] lizzybees and S omg.

TO WORK TOMORROW, MY X-MEN.

* Realised I forgot to put this in the post: Cheezits, Cheetos, Quaker Oatmeal Squares, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, and other bits and pieces.
rhivolution: Janelle Monáe is giving you a low look (fuck gender: Janelle Monáe)
Hi kids--I've put together an informal Wiscon schedule yay! Suggestions welcome.

With regards to contact: I only have my UK phone so texts are kinda expensive to do/receive, but I have inexpensive data available so WhatsApp, if you have it, is totally cool, or email/Twitter will also be checked regularly.

I will be in Madison from early tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon, but I'm going to be doing some hanging out with high school/Smith friends for early afternoon and dinner. However, if you've got time in the mid-afternoon we could get a coffee or something--Matt and I have to come back into the center of town to check in to our hotel. [personal profile] regcommathe, I have something for you...not sure if that works? If not, maybe Saturday morning?

On Friday, I'm planning to be up and about around 10:30/11:00. (Matt has made plans for shopping and possibly heading to the cinema, for those worried about his entertainment.)

1:00 pm: Having a nosy at The Gathering and the dealer room because I need to buy Ancillary Justice and maybe try for other works (Half World? Redwood and Wildfire and most of the Aqueduct back catalogue?).

2:30 pm: choice of several items omg tell me where I should be--sorry [personal profile] wrdnrd, I haven't read Goto so not sure I'd be able to follow the conversation, woe.
- Feminist Utopias (a personal fav topic)
- Women of Doctor Who (because I can bring the RAGEFACE)
- Disability on TV (some of you are on this! unfortunately I haven't seen much telly of late)

4:00 pm: Another Radical Queer Politics Panel
Possibly Diversity in Comics if the latter looks too crowded or other people say things?

BREAK WHO WANTS FOOD AND HANGING OUTS AND IMPROMPTU GENDERQUEER PANEL

9:00 pm: Reconciliation Within SFF

BREAK AND HANGING OUTS MAYBE PARTIES - I'm thinking I'm supporting Helsinki 2017 as LonCon isn't gonna be doable this year, so I'd like to have a nosy at them.

12:00 am: Sekrit Fanfic Identities, if I can stay up that long--jet lag has got me on 'up by 9, dozy by 12 am' and I don't want Matt to worry.

I may be able to do a coffee Saturday morning before 11/12 or so, if we don't have a chance to catch up otherwise.
rhivolution: band tour shirt showing Captain Picard with a guitar. Text is 'Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra September 1991' (language geek: TANAGRA '91!)
For those invested in the bag saga (I should have made a hashtag on Twitter, but I was too put out about it)--Bags arrived yesterday at about 1 pm.
Total time without bags: 42 hours. Time bags were apparently in Milwaukee but not out for delivery to us: 26 hours.

I would like to stop waking up before 8 am. Great for productivity, I guess, but not so fun overall.

I've set up my car rental this morning so hopefully that gets sorted.

The weather could be warmer jfc.

US Netflix streaming is an amazing thing. We've completely screwed up my mother's preference list though, oops.
rhivolution: Beverly Crusher in the captain's chair. Text reads 'Status report: no fucks left to give.' (all the fucks I do not give: Beverly Cru)
Safely in Milwaukee, after (all on the US side) flight cancellations, customer service queuing, delays getting to O'Hare (closest flight available), and epic bs. Sadly our bags are not here though, and so we are bumming around in pajamas for a while until the laundry is done.

At least there's that benefit to Hotel Mom. And this is why I never check my electronics.

Stay tuned for more Bag Saga.

by the way, jet lag is the reason I have been bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for about two hours already.
rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
No spoilers for 'Parade Day', just...WHERE IS ALL THE TAMIKA FLYNN FIC, FANDOM?

Seriously. She is my favourite part of many favourite things about WTNV. I should note that [personal profile] reflectedeve drew me an amazing wee bit of Tamika fanart not all that long ago though.

okay fine I'll cut this but it's not really spoilery )

In other news, US soon. ACK.
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
This post sort of starts in medias res because I can't figure out how to start it otherwise: I managed to be a responsible adult last week in epic ways, before starting to come down with a cold the day after. It whinged for a while as my body threw things at it, but then I ended up so poorly early this week I had to take a sick day for the first time in two years. (Oddly enough, I was also sick, though with GI issues, in early April 2012...idek.)

So this week has pretty much been a wash. Shit has not got done outwith work. And here we are in April and Easter is next week and the US in a month or so and I am thirty... cue existential crisis

A few things I know for sure, though.

I've not seen Winter Soldier so I feel a bit left out, but carry on squeefully!

I will be at Wiscon on the Friday so make your plans accordingly? (insert Sally Field moment here with not understanding why people like me so damn much.*) I need to vid for this omg, but my idea involves going through a ton of canon which is causing much anxiety.

In a similar vein, I finally am reading through the copy of the Year's Best SF that I picked up before going to Birmingham (2009, so this'd be YBSF 2008?) and now I remember why I stopped reading SF indiscriminately. Not just because of the obvious fail, but also the more insidious things...for example, I feel like I want someone to talk with about Ian McDonald and why his work creeps me out so much. Also, it's helped me realise that I made the right choice in not touching Bacigalupi's work. (Conceptually the protagonist's work and workplace in that story is a fantastic concept that rings stunningly true to today's social media and pageclick driven journalism. But that's negated and buried under the amount of sideeye I have to do because it's just...)

so many white dudes in this omg thank fuck there's at least an Aliette de Bodard story near the end and I think Nancy Kress is in it somewhere

This is part of my project to read more, and while it's not failing, I need to push myself a little harder, I think. Or track what I read over lunch better, because I don't tweet about what I don't find amazing.

I...have run out of steam thanks to exhaustion. Ask me things, instead, maybe?


* To deconstruct this, I think this is a combination of imposter syndrome and the fact that at school/work (e.g. social situations where the group is not self-selected) I have always been deemed 'pleasantly quirky' at best and 'wtf' at worst. Therefore I believe the negatives because I am a goddamn cynic.
rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
- HOLY SHIT THE NEW NIGHT VALE I CANNOT EVEN, WEEPING INTO MY METAPHORICAL CEREAL. spoilers. )

Additionally: I want all kinds of fic about Tamika Flynn, and; this episode should come with a trigger warning on it as there's some stuff at the end that could be an issue. Unfortunately saying what the trigger is gives the whole damn thing away, so...if you think you might have an issue, click through to my spoilers to get the jist.

- We saw The Lego Movie and it is highly worth seeing. Not without problematic bits, but overall enjoyable and much more clever than anyone would have anticipated from the trailers or the concept (so glad films can still surprise me like that). Also lots of very amusing stuff if you're into DC Comics...ahem.

- Matt and I have booked a place to stay in Madison for the Thursday and Friday nights of Wiscon, so. That is happening. We'll likely be doing some visiting on Thursday in the Madison area but con stuff Friday? If I can figure something out for Matt to do?

- Work stuff omg (business business numbers). Follow me on my IRL Twitter for ADVENTURES, that's all I'm gonna say.

- Am I the only one not getting notifs for the first comments people leave on a Dreamwidth post? This is getting old.
rhivolution: band tour shirt showing Captain Picard with a guitar. Text is 'Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra September 1991' (language geek: TANAGRA '91!)
How fantastic was today's Night Vale? THIS MUCH. (There will be something big soon, I am certain of it. Also much jealous for you people who have gone to the live shows or are there now because you're in Noho.)

How excited am I about Wiscon but terrified I won't get a membership as I need to book plane tickets first? THIS MUCH.

How busy has this week been from a work perspective? THIS MUCH.

How much am I not talking any more about Loncon or about the recent sideeye towards FAAB people in queer gaming because I have said everything I wanted to say on Twitter? THIS MUCH.

How much does this poem by [livejournal.com profile] alankria reflect my own feelings about my gender?
I struggled with words:
woman—fine
wife—fine
mother—fine
but not quite true;
they sat on me like plain jewellery: gleaming, comfortable
but mute.

THIS MUCH. (So much love.)
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Because I had it private until just now (good job, me), do check out the Indiana Jones vid I made for [livejournal.com profile] lilly_the_kid in this year's Festivids: Authority.

It's a fun one, which I hadn't really done before--I'm a srs bsns sort of person when it comes to fanworks, for the most part. Despite that, there's actually lots more commentary behind this one than I initially thought, which has been percolating for a month since I finished the damn thing.

Let me know if you're interested. Feedback is always welcome, too.

I also haven't gone through vids in fandoms I know yet, thanks to a raging anxiety flareup that I'm still trying to shake, so I will need to do that soon.

Next goal: do a Wiscon premiere...
rhivolution: Uhura from Star Trek TOS, leaning over and laughing (oh hell yes: Uhura (TOS))
Dragging myself out of anxiety-fueled inertia to tell you, dear readers, that you should go have a look at the two (!) vids I got for Festivids as they are both utterly amazing. (I really have got to get myself in gear to make a treat for someone, some year, to pay it forward.)

Bones (Silence of the Lambs): an absolutely stunning examination of the parallel journeys of Clarice, Catherine Martin, and Lecter through the film. Film geek me says the editing and song choice works wonderfully with Demme and Fujimoto's original photography, giving it a modern sensibility--but it's damn good at playing with your emotions too.
(Please heed all trigger warnings as there are both physical and psychological ones. The latter are in line with canon, though not gratuitous, and the problematic parts of canon are relatively minimally shown.)

You Have a Choice (Minority Report): the Agatha and Anderton vid I've been wanting for about a decade, I swear to god. This takes out Spielberg's heavy-handed sentimentality (I love the man, but no) and swaps John Williams' noir style score for an epic narrative's to do so. It ends up being about Agatha and about both her and Anderton's changing understanding of justice and fate really are. I'm just gonna be squeeful that someone gets it besides me because I never GET that with this canon.

With regards to my own vid, I was going to offer a vidlet for guessing, but realised I gave away what I was doing a few months ago by asking for help. But if you DON'T know, DIDN'T look, and still want to guess, feel free--none of you have found it yet wrt commenting, so there's still time to get in on the ground floor. And dear person who helped me with source material, you also deserve a reward if you so choose. You know who you are.

(in other news that has made me roll up into a ball and rock back and forth: Fleetwood Mac new album and tour with Christine MASSIVE SQUEE involved)
rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
If you were wondering: I did finish my Festivid on time. I actually quite like the finished product, and can't wait for you all to see it.

Think I may be experiencing Twitter social justice burnout. processing behind the cut )

And I'm tired.
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Title: Authority
Vidder: Rhi ([personal profile] rhivolution/[livejournal.com profile] rhipowered)
Fandom: Indiana Jones films
Music: John Cougar Mellencamp, "Authority Song"
Warnings: brief clips of people in peril, snakes, Nazis
Length: 3:41
Summary: Things never seem to go according to plan.
Notes: Made in Final Cut Essentials and MPEG Streamclip, with huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] anagramofbrat for her assistance with the source. I have a lot of thoughts and feels about this vid--more than meets the eye! So if you're interested, please shout.
source details, download, streaming embed, and lyrics. )
rhivolution: Ace is pensive and/or upset (say your life is on fire: Ace)
- anxiety. anxiety. anxiety. cut for potential triggers? )

- Potentially linked, I had dysphoria yesterday. It had been a while. Not fun.

- Things I am (perhaps irrationally) afraid of doing: alienating people on Twitter. not finishing my Festivid on time. sucking at my job. spending money. being upset about how I look.

- I am frustrated with myself for being too anxious to use Tumblr for anything but RP, because it seems nearly everyone I know is bloody on there and I should be if I want to keep up with them. But I really, really cannot use Tumblr for fandom and/or social justice. Cannot.

- Speaking of my Festivid, I'm massively irritated with the fact that all my old video converters no longer seem to work with Mountain Lion and upwards, except for MPEG Streamclip. Any advice? I'm playing the render-as-I-go game because of it, and I don't really have time to figure out what to do in this case, but going forward it'd be useful.

- On that same note: Mavericks upgrade, y/n?

- Welcome to Night Vale makes me happy. I still have headcanons for you, one of these days.

- I'm not doing a What I Read/Watched sticky this year because it is too damn guilt-inducing for me at the end of the year. If you're really curious, I'll still be updating my GoodReads periodically.

- I am doing better in life than this post makes out, I just am having an anxious. I swear.

Questions? Comments? I like comments.
rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
behind the cut. )
As in previous years, you can follow my reading on Goodreads, same username as my Twitter.