rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
Rhi. ([personal profile] rhivolution) wrote2015-04-19 09:57 pm

here again (vworp vworp)

As ever, things make a post.

- I've been suffering a bit of mental health setback lately, or rather a recovery plateau, thanks to a bunch of stressors (work, fandom, general election, housebuying, fandom) leading to periodic anxiety attacks. It's frustrating because I want to do stuff and then I freak out or am out of cutlery and don't get shit done and then feel worse about myself. I do have help and therapy and it is working, just...I'm at this plateau and I hate that.

Every so often I remember that I will likely be unwell for the rest of my life, and it seems so very large, then when I consider conditions others have, it seems so fucking small. I don't know what I'm trying to get at, save that I would like to not be large or small here, just to be.

- On that note, I've been working on a real name blog post for like, three weeks now, and I swear it will soon be done. It's just...it feels like my writing is disjointed, all bits and pieces (ze says, writing a goddamn list post).

- Also on that note, what do you do when the place you end up in, after long consideration, is on the fucking fence? What use are you then? Do you just nope out of things for the future and be considered useless by all parties? /cannot cope

- In light of the sad news about Jonathan Crombie's death, I'm a bit spooked by my recent Festivid choices and look at AGG fandom. I sort of want to rewatch the vid (and the canon, now that I have a copy), but I think it'll make me sad. He embodied Gilbert for me, just as Megan Follows is Anne and Schuyler Grant is Diana; I had the Anne of Green Gables miniseries fotonovel when I was a kid, so they're sort of indelibly impressed on my mind and were long before this vid. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

- I am not gonna talk about Star Wars or Daredevil because I do not want to be Captain Buzzkill. I will talk about Welcome to Night Vale with any and all comers, though!

- I would like to vid a whole bunch of snarky multi-Doctor DW vids, as I've been watching a bunch of old!skool Who thanks to the Horror channel* going Freeview recently. I get daunted as hell by the size of the canon, though, by the amount of stuff I would need to acquire and log/mine for detail. Suffice it to say, I have lots of DW feels again...they're just not new!Who feels, which is a bit strange.

* 'Horror' is really just a catchall for 'speculative fiction'. Right now they're trying to convince me that The Stand is scary, which it is, but not how they think. God, I love that story, even with its faults. I even love that mini, though some of it is painfully bad. Gary Sinise makes up for a lot. A LOT.
fallingtowers: (Mood: Friendly)

[personal profile] fallingtowers 2015-04-20 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
I hope things will start looking up soon, mental health-wise.