rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
I write this primarily because it's beneficial for me to delineate my points of view to myself, and probably beneficial for everyone to see where I'm coming from on things. You may notice that I am very much in the middle on many, many things; all I can say is that identity is a spectrum, and I have sincere concern about the elimination of points of view that don't always have labels.

Yes, even though I just said that I like delineating things and labeling myself. I think you get the point about the middle.

Last revised: 23 January 2011

and I probably fucked up somewhere in here...bah. )
rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
So uh, I posted this meme five years ago today, and I've left the notif email open in my Gmail for FIVE YEARS, intending to do it. Suffice it to say, I think it is not going to get done, unless someone is still interested in my answers, which are probably incredibly different now than they'd have been back then.

Leave a comment, let me know.

Life continues apace, work has been absolutely frantic for the last month or two, and I've mostly been using DW to do RP stuff, hence the lack of posting here. I am feeling like I'm sucking at being a friend for most people and therefore am close to no one at all. The brainweasels mean that I feel I need to respond to everything, and when I can't do that, I kind of shut down entirely.

For which I am sorry. I am trying, always trying, to do better.

As I seem to do well in snippets and wry remarks, you can, of course, also find me having an opinion on the Twitters (those who can't do, pundit) and very occasionally on the book of Face, and sometimes here even. Festivids is coming up so more here, yes? Yes.

But for those who are not on social media: I am all right. I am getting by. I have a nasty cough right now, but I am dealing. Know I think of you often--yes, even you who is having a brainweasel attack and feel like no one gives a damn but that is a weasel-lie--with love.
rhivolution: David Tennant, looking frustrated and holding up a sign that says 'ARSE' (u r a wanker: so says David Tennant)
Hello! I am just here to publicly state (in a location visible to all, rather than users of a particular archive!) that I think Franzeska's apologia is:
- lacking coherence
- lacking in historical rigor
- most importantly, a trash fire that is full of shit.

All of which she dresses up a little bit in wink-wink-nudge-nudge and statements that seem to be going one way but actually are going the other.

So many people I know have been disgusted and hurt by this over the last day or two that I feel I gotta say something, that I am so fucking tired of this shit, because it's exactly what one sees in Western society and at present in certain other subcultures that will remain nameless. The people who have had structural power* freak the fuck out when they don't have 100% control of the narrative anymore.

Fandom is not a space apart from these kinds of actions and reactions. I will throw a copy of Dick Hebdige's book on subcultures at any acafan who disagrees.

And I'm certain this will all get dismissed by her and others as exactly the kind of thing that they mean, god those people are such bullies.

Seriously, fuck this noise. I have been in fandom for 15 years and just...fuck.

That is all. I highly recommend/appreciate the stuff folks have been saying on Twitter, by the way, especially Rukmini Pande and Nico.

* I don't mean power over the canon or over media. I mean power in fandom-the-subculture, which is a thing, even if that power isn't necessarily large in the scales of the greater world.
rhivolution: Yves Adele Harlow from The Lone Gunmen, smiling. Text: 'YVES' (always on the run: Yves Adele Harlow)
Title: The Game
Vidder: Rhi ([personal profile] rhivolution/[livejournal.com profile] rhipowered)
Fandom: Aeon Flux (TV series)
Music: The Motels, "Only the Lonely"
Warnings: Physical triggers--use of quick cuts
Length: 03:01
Summary: Don't hate the player, or; Scenes from the Monican/Bregnan war of attrition.

Notes: Made in Final Cut Express and VideoMonkey, for Cara Marie/[personal profile] genusshrike in Festivids 2015. Hat tip to Silvia Moreno-Garcia for tweeting about 'Only the Lonely'--I'd been desperately looking for a track and had somehow never heard the Motels before. Thank you to her, and to all the folks who have put up the Aeon Flux series for streaming online, and to Peter Chung and company for letting them stay up. I had a hell of a time trying to source the video (yaaaay obscure fandoms) until I realised it was all already HERE.
Aeon Flux and me go way, way back--it's the fandom where I did my first (aborted) attempt at vidding in college, for a start. Western animation for adults has become a hell of a lot more solid in the intervening years between now and then, but Peter Chung, and later Sam Kieth, among others, pushed out the boat. I have a lot of thoughts about this! I will spare you!
After the sourcing issues, this was probably the easiest vid I've ever done in terms of construction, as the non-linear ugly-beautiful choppy nature of the canon lends itself well to remix (though it does mean some of the transitions look ugly...because the source is). The vid is shippy, though only in the sense that Aeon and Trevor aren't ever actually shippy, but a fucked up twisted mess. Somehow I managed to pull a narrative out of it all, and without realising it, tipped my hat to MTV of the 80s/90s.

source details, download, streaming embed, and lyrics. )
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
So I've failed massively at posting to my journal of late, but. But.

I got two absolutely beautiful Master and Commander vids this year in Festivids, and you should go look at them...and leave feedback for the vidders. Also a big thanks to the [community profile] festivids mods and staff for all their hard work!

Sailboats by [personal profile] bironic (assignment) is an absolutely lovely Aubrey/Maturin vid that is pretty much to the letter I wanted from a shippy (swear to god no pun intended) fanwork. Bironic has made this sweet and touching without hurting your teeth; the song choice is perfect, and if you like this ship, it's a real keeper.

Leave Her, Johnny by [personal profile] rhoboat (treat) pulls together a completely different take on the canon--the gritty reality of the naval life, good and bad. Rhoboat uses the stunning cinematography by Russell Boyd* to full advantage, which I really appreciated as it's so fucking beautiful.

Go forth, friends! And do go have a look at the rest of this year's Festivids if you get a chance--I'm going to make my way though them all soon, it's been a rough start of the month so I've not had time yet.

* Wikipedia is telling me Boyd won an Oscar for this, which I gotta say is deserved as hell. I'm still miffed there wasn't ever a second M&C.
rhivolution: the Doctor, pointing at his shop name badge: The Doctor/here to help (Here to help: The Doctor)
Just a note to say hello, I am still here! Still trying to get my brain in order, though I have graduated from CBT (yay?). I'm also sort of trying to enjoy December, as last year I was sick as a dog for most of it.

To be honest, I'd probably be more likely to read my circle if DW had a mobile interface worth beans. I swore I'd never become one of Those People with Their Phones, but it seems to have happened, for which I sort of apologise but half-assedly.

I've managed to get back into knitting, which is exciting and good, especially as I seem to accumulate sock yarn faster than I actually make things. It feels good to make stuff and to finish stuff--even though 'finished' has always been an odd and underwhelming experience for me. Does anyone else have that problem? It may just be my brainweasels.
rhivolution: Q gets comfy on the Enterprise-D bridge (why helllloooo.: Q)
Dearest Festividder,
Hi! I'm Rhi, I'm a thirty-something white geek of complex gender who is loud on the internet sometimes. I'm an immigrant from the US now living in Scotland, which is not as sexy as it sounds. Trust me.
no sleigh bells, no Steuben glass )
rhivolution: Beverly Crusher in the captain's chair. Text reads 'Status report: no fucks left to give.' (all the fucks I do not give: Beverly Cru)
Icon (on Dreamwidth) actually is not particularly representative of my feelings, which are more like 'eh' in terms of 'no fucks'.

- I have gotten back into knitting, yay! Knitting for my wee nibling (who will turn one next week, wow) does make things a bit easier, because they are small and therefore things progress quickly and I feel better about life yay.

- Right, I need to sign up for Festivids before I forget. NEED TO. And Night Vale novel! And Ancillary Mercy! And the books I got in Berlin at Borderlands! Clearly, I have bought too many physical books lately and I am worrying about having reached Peak Bookshelf, which could be ameliorated by me not borrowing books (e and paper) from the public library left and right. Not that that will ever really happen.

- In other ways, some parts of fandom are doing my head in. I don't really want to talk about it in public. Trust no one, carry a big stick.

- I need to plan for the Smith 10 year reunion, which means I need to think about money and plane tickets and renting a car 'cause Mom will still be in school and and and. Due to Memorial Day being wicked late this year and colleague schedules (read: everyone in my office is getting married next year), I need to be back here before Wiscon, which is a bit disappointing, but I shall persevere.

(Getting to know some cool folk on Twitter makes me vaguely want to run a con of my own in Glasgow for Cool Fans Living North Of The Home Counties. I'd call it something like ConeCon with the tagline lots of planets have a north!. But my organizational skills are terrible, so it'd just end up being people sitting in a pub anyway, talking rubbish.)

- My clin psych has recommended muscle relaxation techniques for me to try, less as an anxiety flareup curative and more to keep general equilibrium* during the rest of the time. Anyone tried this at all? I'm slightly worried about either falling asleep or it having no effect whatsoever, but I have committed to giving it a go.

* I used another ten-dollar word in a work email earlier this week, as a natural conversational word, noticed after I sent it, then felt vaguely relieved when no one called me out.
rhivolution: low-on-spoons girl from Hyperbole and a Half: 'clean ALL the things?' (clean ALL the things?: out of spoons)
Hello, just a post to say I am still here, I am just sucking really hard at reading my flist/circle! (which in my brain extends to 'bad friend'...so I apologise.)

And at posting, obviously, ugh ugh ugh. I have a lot of things to say but don't know how to say them, it seems. I keep thinking I should have a private Twitter account, but then I remember I have this, and why the hell am I not using it augh brainweasels

Hello. How are you? Seriously, I want to know.
rhivolution: Janelle Monáe is giving you a low look (fuck gender: Janelle Monáe)
Well, I am back in Britain and no longer on jetlag time, two weeks later, and mostly just getting by. Glasgow has had nothing approaching 'summer', not even the British variant of summer (e.g. a pleasant temperature and not raining), which is disheartening as we come into August and I think of those Stevie Nicks lyrics* and anticipate the seasons to come.

If you needed to be convinced about climate change--and I'm hoping if you read my journal that you don't--the weather here in Britain for the last few years is quite good anecdotal evidence. Gwyneth Jones wrote a YA book under her Ann Halam pseud half a dozen years ago or so TEN YEARS AGO, says Wikipedia (Siberia), where the jet stream has moved due to global climate change, leaving Scotland a tundra, and while I don't buy that exact outcome, I do buy the notion that the weather here is becoming increasingly fucked.(Incidentally, I enjoyed that book a lot more than I have any of Jones' writing for adults. I've written about this before here and elsewhere...her issues with mothering and motherhood creep.me.out. Thinking on it more, Jones sorta is the Christopher Nolan of feminist SF for me, in that her work is very technically interesting and impressive, but I just can't quite get emotionally attached to her characters. They leave me rather cold.)

On reading! I did manage to finish Ancillary Justice and Ancillary Sword on holiday, and perhaps I was the only person who liked Sword better, I'm not sure. I've sorta parsed out my reasons why and hope to do a blog post one of these evers.

From a foodie perspective, I also finally read Gabrielle Hamilton's 2011 memoir (Blood, Bones, and Butter). While Hamilton's got...some personal issues that I feel could really use some deeper self-analysis...I really identify with her career narrative:
- falling into a job (cooking)
- feeling like she's not changing the world or using her potential, so going back to school (writing)
- finding out that the reality of doing that dream as a career is not great
- going back to old job for productivity and meaning and eventually developing that into a career
And then she ends up writing a top-rated memoir, publishing essays, and winning awards for her writing too, which leads me to, at least, a bit of hope for my media self. I just need to actually Do The Thing.

On fandom--thinking, very vaguely, about getting back into RPing again, because [personal profile] lizzy is convincing, but that would also mean that my brain needs to be better at not freaking out about reading friend lists/circles, thus not flaking out. I hate flaking out.

So yes, stuff is stuff, hello, tell me interesting things.

* "And the summer became the fall/I was not ready for the winter", from 'Nightbird', though the FM folk here probably guessed that.
rhivolution: Q gets comfy on the Enterprise-D bridge (why helllloooo.: Q)
Yes, I am going back to the US for a visit this week (watch this space). Almost but not quite in anxiety mode about traveling--at the moment it comes and goes. I'm hoping I'll be able to relax and do some reading and some writing (two different blog posts are in the works but unfinished), though I may just stick my head in the sand and enjoy not having quite as much stress.

Summer's finally hit Glasgow, insomuch as it ever really does by my standards; as always there has been #tapsaff and lots of folk complaining about how hot it is every time it hits 20 degrees Celsius (68 F). It is, I will concede, humid as fuck, but as depicted on Instagram, I tend to be jetting around in a jacket when everyone else has wee camisoles on. MKE will be a delight, even if it rains, because warm.

Fleetwood Mac were a delight, though while I was there I felt a tad underwhelmed, then realised I was feeling underwhelmed because it was like The Dance but right there in front of me in real life and then I got wicked excited again. In fact, every time I realise I have seen them all together and they don't hate each other and are having fun, I have a moment.

Project Paige and Matt Watch DS9 is continuing on into S2. In a way, I'm glad I'm watching it first now, because I feel like there's a lot of stuff I'd have missed when I was younger, and a lot of stuff still seems so damn relevant. It is, not gonna lie, better television than TNG in general, but I still love my TNG crew. I just wish there was more TNG that was like DS9.

To sum up: FEELS.
rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
As ever, things make a post.

- content warning: mental health )

- On that note, I've been working on a real name blog post for like, three weeks now, and I swear it will soon be done. It's just...it feels like my writing is disjointed, all bits and pieces (ze says, writing a goddamn list post).

- Also on that note, what do you do when the place you end up in, after long consideration, is on the fucking fence? What use are you then? Do you just nope out of things for the future and be considered useless by all parties? /cannot cope

- In light of the sad news about Jonathan Crombie's death, I'm a bit spooked by my recent Festivid choices and look at AGG fandom. I sort of want to rewatch the vid (and the canon, now that I have a copy), but I think it'll make me sad. He embodied Gilbert for me, just as Megan Follows is Anne and Schuyler Grant is Diana; I had the Anne of Green Gables miniseries fotonovel when I was a kid, so they're sort of indelibly impressed on my mind and were long before this vid. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

- I am not gonna talk about Star Wars or Daredevil because I do not want to be Captain Buzzkill. I will talk about Welcome to Night Vale with any and all comers, though!

- I would like to vid a whole bunch of snarky multi-Doctor DW vids, as I've been watching a bunch of old!skool Who thanks to the Horror channel* going Freeview recently. I get daunted as hell by the size of the canon, though, by the amount of stuff I would need to acquire and log/mine for detail. Suffice it to say, I have lots of DW feels again...they're just not new!Who feels, which is a bit strange.

* 'Horror' is really just a catchall for 'speculative fiction'. Right now they're trying to convince me that The Stand is scary, which it is, but not how they think. God, I love that story, even with its faults. I even love that mini, though some of it is painfully bad. Gary Sinise makes up for a lot. A LOT.
rhivolution: Karen Gillian dressed as Amy Pond faces off against a TV camera (me versus the camera: Karen Gillan)
Title: Take the Sky (Forsake the Ground)
Vidder: Rhi ([personal profile] rhivolution/[livejournal.com profile] rhipowered)
Fandom: Anne of Green Gables (1985 mini)
Music: James Taylor, "Never Die Young"
Warnings: none
Length: 04:12
Summary: Anne changes Avonlea; Avonlea changes Anne.

Notes: Made in Final Cut Essentials and MPEG Streamclip, for [personal profile] grammarwoman in Festivids 2014. Many thanks to my dear husband for his assist with getting the source--unfortunately the R1 remastered DVD version was next to impossible to get here in time so this one's a bit grainy, which I'll pretend adds to the charm.
In terms of vidder's thoughts, this vid was nearly set to the Barenaked Ladies' 'Light Up My Room' in an attempt to keep it Canadian, but in the long run, Taylor's track about growing up with strange but beautiful peers just fit better. As ever, things are OT3 shippy if you squint and look sideways...and by the way, where the hell is all the f/f Anne series slash on AO3? There is a serious gap, people. Get on that.

source details, download, streaming embed, and lyrics. )
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Just a quick note to say many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] jacquelee and circlemate [personal profile] lotesse for my slashy lovely Festivids gifts this year.

Yours truly also did an Anne of Green Gables vid, Take the Sky (Forsake the Ground) for [personal profile] grammarwoman. Full post with download link and commentary will be available in a few days.

Also, I've now reread the first three Anne books and I'm really glad to have had the excuse!
rhivolution: image of a turkey sandwich on a white background; the word 'harlot' is printed in black in the corner (harlot: night vale community radio)
Because I have two of them to do and I am somehow in the right frame of mind to do them, yay. I'll answer with the first thing that comes to mind and you can all see a bit of brainfart.

[personal profile] forthwritten gave me R.

Something I hate: Racism. Racial profiling. I don't feel compelled to elaborate as it's pretty clear.
Something I love: The mythos of Rhiannon, which should be pretty obvious in a different way.
Somewhere I've been: Ripon, WI. Actually, been doesn't really cut it, as it's family, so how about Rochester, NY?
Somewhere I'd like to go: Reykjavík. I'm actually quite keen on the idea of going to Iceland, as I've heard many good things.
Someone I know: The delightful [personal profile] regcommathe.
A film I like: both Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Rocketeer, which are two of those Films I Saw As A Child that hold up as an adult but in an entirely different way that might involve Jennifer Connelly oh my god, despite being problematic. Also Roxane, which I haven't watched as an adult and am sort of afraid to, now that I'm not into romantic comedy.
A book I like: I went over to my bookshelf and the only book there starting with R is Rosemary and Rue by Seanan McGuire, which is of that rare breed of urban fantasy I don't loathe.

[personal profile] silverhare gave me L.

Something I hate: Shifting down into really basic likes/dislikes...licorice. Anything anisey is unpalatable in my book.
Something I love: My wee brother, whose first name begins with L. Even when he is a pain in the ass and even though his politics suck.
Somewhere I've been: London, though not as much or as thoroughly as I'd like. I had a wonderful day out with [personal profile] littlebutfierce there, though!
Somewhere I'd like to go: Liverpool. I'm not sure why, perhaps it is [personal profile] ladyvivien that got me thinking about it; it sure as hell wasn't the Beatles. Further afield, I'd sorta rather like to go to Lisbon.
Someone I know: So many! [livejournal.com profile] lizzybees, said brother, wee Leo (baby son of a friend) that I met on the weekend.
A film I like: Labyrinth, carrying on with Jennifer Connolly; The Life and Times of Rosie the Riveter is a great hard to find documentary; Live and Let Die is fucked up in so very many ways but Yaphet Kotto and Geoffrey Holder are wonderful actors and we always seem to land on it when it's on TV.
A book I like: Ursula K LeGuin's The Left Hand of Darkness and Jasper Fforde's Lost in a Good Book are on the shelves. I like them in remarkably different ways.


Feb. 6th, 2015 10:24 pm
rhivolution: Uhura from Star Trek TOS, leaning over and laughing (oh hell yes: Uhura (TOS))
So I am behind due to a combination of being away at the weekend, technical failure, and brainweasels, but I got not one but TWO lovely F/F slashy vids in this year's Festivids.

This is the third(?) year that I've had multiple gifts--someday I have got to get my act together and pay it forward with doing a treat or two, gdi, but I always end up barely having time for my own assignment (see: brainweasels).

Finding My Voice (Bend It Like Beckham)
Watching this, I find it's possible that I love Bend It even more now that I've had a dozen years' distance and a huge chunk of sociocultural immersion for it to grow on me. Jess and Jules touch my heart, as both a protoqueer in the day and now, always, and Glasgae's ain Emeli Sandé makes for a beautiful accompaniment that fits perfectly with the canon.

bosom friend (Anne of Green Gables series by Sullivan Entertainment)
A look at the beautiful, somewhat otherworldly friendship/love Diana and Anne have. I'm probably the only person I know who hadn't listened to FKA Twigs until now, and the song really works. I picked up the Anne books again on my ereader (many of them are public domain), and the phrase 'a bit queer' keeps coming back to me. This vid is a bit queer...in the best ways.

If you haven't checked these or the other Festivids out, I highly recommend having a nosy. (For the Anne of Green Gables one, if you've read AoGG and Anne of Avonlea, you don't need to have seen the Sullivan Entertainment minis to get the gist!) I need to get deep into the Festivids submissions and comment this weekend, please forgive me fellow vidders.

Oh, and if you guess my vid, you'll get a wee treat (if you want)--just drop me a DM. Very broad hint: the music is NOT Fleetwood Mac or any member's solo work, so neener.
rhivolution: Beverly Crusher in the captain's chair. Text reads 'Status report: no fucks left to give.' (all the fucks I do not give: Beverly Cru)
In case you've been wondering where I've been and don't follow me on Twitter, I came down with the flu* on the night of the 8th and have been dealing with it ever since. Give-a-damn about everything basically flew out the window, and I've been signed off work, went through a bunch of nights where I barely slept, and had chills and sweats for longer than I'd have liked.

I will spare you the remainder of the play-by-play. Recuperation mode's now in effect and I just have a nasty cough, exhaustion, and a bit of brain fog that I'm struggling to clear away.

Suffice it to say, I'm fucking shelling out for that jab next year and every year forthcoming. I don't care about the cost or how much they try to tell me I don't need it. Know what I don't need? Over a week and a half of being fucking miserable and useless, missing appointments and work and holiday prep. That's what I don't need.

I did manage to read a lot, though, and watch some TNG, including the episode referenced in my Dreamwidth icon. I'm hoping to get blog posty about my reads soon.

* I seriously suspect it's flu as Matt's not been ill, thank god, and he gets the jab on the NHS for medical reasons.
rhivolution: Karen Gillian dressed as Amy Pond faces off against a TV camera (me versus the camera: Karen Gillan)
First of all, thanks so much to everyone who left me love in the love meme. You're too damn sweet and better than I deserve.

I turned 31 yesterday, and realised that 'Rock 'n Roll Never Forgets' is both too correct about being that age and completely off base. (Then again, I can't help but wonder if being 31 in 1976 wasn't demonstrative of a different maturity level than the age has today. ymmv.) On that note, for those who don't play along on Twitter: I became an aunt there is no gender neutral term for this relationship in any of the languages I can speak wtf the doting relative of a nephew a couple weeks back. This is also driving home the age thing, oh my god.

My return to blogging is going well and I am glad for it! I also wrote a speculative poem over the weekend and am now not sure what to do with it, as I don't write poetry generally. Would anyone who reads speculative poetry be able to beta read it at all and tell me if it's rubbish?

I have thoughts about SFF fandom but am holding fire right now.

If you are interested in my Festivids thoughts/planning, please give me a shout? No one on my circle/flist is my recipient.

My anxiety issues still running high but I am making progress a bit in CBT, which is something, at least. We are going on a long weekend this weekend and I am pretty sure I need it like none other, so yes. Good times.

Huh, perhaps I'm doing a bit better than I thought.
rhivolution: David Tennant does the Thinker (Default)
I'm in [personal profile] kaberett's love meme, should you be so inclined (planning to catch you lot after work).
rhivolution: Abed from Community with his camcorder (pop culture/film = OTP: Abed Nadir)
Hello! Thank you in advance for the wonderful vid--I never know what to say in these things, so go me. I'm really excited about the possibilities in all of the fandoms I picked, so I will be chuffed to bits regardless, but here are some guidelines and inspirations for you.

- My musical taste is pretty much white suburban US baby boomer dad, with some meanderings into queer stuff, 'world music', and alternafolk, but don't let that stop you from going where you like. My last.fm profile is linked on my DW profile, should you want to have a nosy (though it's not super up-to-date as sometimes stuff doesn't scrobble from Spotify, augh).
- I like introspective character study type vids. While I'm not opposed to happiness, my general preference in fanworks is towards snarky social commentary, angst/UST, and gritty reality. You are more than welcome to make a statement, provided your politics aren't ugly. I'm one of Those People, so feminist, anti-racist, epic side-eye type vids are fantastic.

Details! Cut to spare people. )